Poll

What would you write on a dirty car?





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Poll

What would you write on a dirty car?





Show Results

Stupid Is As Stupid Does: What Real Car Guys Don't Do

by Mac Demere on Monday, December 26, 2011 13:49

You may have seen the video of the two boneheadedly incompetent drivers racing and wrecking their Corvettes on Thanksgiving Day in the Houston area. We’ll simply refer to as Brian Andrew Herbert, 23, and Roy Wayne Bowden, 44.

If you haven’t seen the video take a moment to watch.

According to myfoxhouston.com, the two are charged with racing on a highway causing bodily injury. I’m pretty sure these are felony charges. But it was in Texas, so who knows?

Reports said Herbert concocted a story for police that wasn’t exactly accurate. Then Herbert’s mother called and demanded that police take her baby to the hospital. Cops released Bowden because the kid’s mommy prevented Herbert from taking a ride to the station.

They both would’ve gotten away with little more than bruised egos, but the video surfaced. The video convicted Herbert of the most foul of offenses: “Contempt of Cop.” (From Rodney King to Occupy Wall Streeters, many have been severely punished for this offense.)

Some (of many) lessons from this:

  1. Don't disable the electronic stability control when you can’t drive a nail into soft sand.
  2. Don't lie to the cops. You can remain silent. Or you can channel your inner Forrest Gump (which should’ve been easy in this case) and say I dunno. But don't lie.
  3. Today, someone is always nearby with a video camera.

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Racing: The Week That Was – Volume 1, Number 20

by John Jeppesen on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 05:08

Enough is Enough Kurt Busch was ordered to “walk the plank” by team boss Roger Penske, AKA “The Captain.” The incident at the season-ending event Homestead-Miami no doubt pushed Penske over the edge in what has been a tumultuous six-year relationship. Did Busch speak the unspeakable word in public? That would be inconsistent because former driver Rusty Wallace could make a sailor blush with many of his radio outbursts in the pre-scanner days. The rift probably runs much deeper. Both Kurt and his brother are notorious for their critical comments about their cars during races that always kill any sense of teamwork. I will never forget the RP retort after one of Kurt’s radio rampages a couple years ago. He said (I am paraphrasing): “This is the owner, Kurt. If you don’t like driving my car, I’ll find someone who will.” This also makes one wonder if there is something in the Busch brothers’ DNA that causes such behavior.

Color Me Yellow Speculation over who will replace Kurt Busch has already created a buzz. Two guys named Dave (Ragan and Reutimann) are potential candidates. Or, could Roger Penske bump Sam Hornish to the Pennzoil ride? Hornish has history with the sponsor. He raced in the classic yellow livery at Panther Racing in the IndyCar series.

What Happens in Vegas…The “Champion’s Week” in Las Vegas had its moments, most best left there and off the airwaves. The Friday night awards broadcast had a few worth mention. First, Kid Rock’s performance was a cross between Jerry Lee Lewis and Elton John, complete with him standing on top of the piano. And the hat? Did he borrow it from King Richard? Reba was quite funny, especially with the quip: “Kyle Busch couldn’t use valet parking. Only NASCAR can park his car.” She also commented on the Jeff Gordon You Tube video. Apparently Big Poppa is a pretty good break dancer. Who’d a thunk it? The Chase driver’s speeches were thankfully short. None, including Stewart’s were particularly eloquent.

A Waste of Good Beer No doubt Darien Grubb succeeded in getting his boss sloshed on Schlitz after winning the Sprint Cup crown; it did not keep his spot atop the No. 14 war wagon. That spot will be taken by Steve Addington, a refugee of the Busch war at Penske.

The Front of the NASCAR Holiday Parade Steve Hmiel and Tony Glover can now join Kurt Busch and Darien Grubb in the ever growing parade of unemployed in NASCAR. That’s because Chip Ganassi cleaned out the “C-suite” at the team’s Concord, N.C. HQ. Both Hmiel and Glover have had long and successful careers in the sport. I’m guessing these guys might be thinking “Fa La Lala La, up yours” during this holiday season.

Still Kickin’ at 83 Octogenarian Robert Weaver has won the first Betty Jane France Humanitarian Award. The lifelong Talladega resident was widely known as “The Ice Cream Man” because he would bring ice cream and other treats to blind, deaf and children with multiple disabilities. Way to go Robert.

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Rally Racer Ken Block's World Tour in Six Minutes

by Jerry Smith on Monday, December 5, 2011 05:01

In Australia, a “hoon” is someone who drives too fast and too noisily, and generally behaves in an antisocial way behind the wheel. Ken Block would be a hoon if he weren’t such a good one. Instead, he’s a professional rally driver.

Block recently wrapped up his 2011 Gymkhana World, during which he hooned his way into the hearts of fans in Vienna, Austria; Melbourne, Australia; and Los Angeles.

This video is a taste of the action from those events, crammed into six minutes. Consider it an appetizer for the 2012 tour, which Block says will make the 2011 tour look like your grandpa skidding his Buick on a patch of ice by comparison.

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Racing: The Week That Was – Volume 1, Number 17

by John Jeppesen on Thursday, November 17, 2011 09:17

Edwards and Stewart race to a push Many railbirds thought the new Phoenix configuration would stymie drivers and crew chiefs. The effect was nowhere near the problem the analysts predicted. When the checkers fell, Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart became the last combatants standing going into the Homestead finale. Stewart still trails Edwards by three markers and both drivers will put everything on the line in Florida. Edwards has won at this track and Stewart’s mile-and-a-half track program has been very strong of late. I’d hate to be one of the odds makers on this wager. Here’s some rough video of the final laps:

The Red Bull snorts It was good to see Kasey Kahne win one for a dedicated and talented bunch of guys. Rumors abound of an 11th hour bid for the team. It would be a shame to see another 150 guys pushing their tool chests onto the Mooresville, N.C. streets with nowhere to go. There could be quite a traffic jam as they merge with an equal number of displaced team members from Germain Racing. Reminds me of the anti war folk song “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” The NASCAR version would be “Where Have All the Ratchets Gone? More...

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The Week That Was – Volume 1, Number 10 (Videos)

by John Jeppesen on Friday, September 30, 2011 09:30

Vettel almost clinches the F1 title Even though the swift German qualified on the pole (again) and led every lap at the Singapore GP, he came up one point short of clinching the F1 crown for the second year in a row. McLaren Mercedes driver Jenson Button was the spoiler when he finished in second place. It’s all over but the shouting…cue the fat lady in Japan…arigato (Japanese for thank you).

Bernie’s Ark Like Noah’s creatures, the top ten spots on the Singapore starting grid lined up in pairs, Red Bull, McLaren Mercedes, Ferrari, Mercedes GP and Force India.

Zero to hero Following on the heels of a dismal regular season, Tony Stewart now has two consecutive wins in the Sprint Cup chase. It was another display of great strategy and skillful fuel conservation. Ironically, it was Stewart who ran out of gas last year to give Clint Bowyer the win. This year the table was turned. Even so, Stewart said: “That’s not the way I wanted to win it.” Later,  Smoke brushed off any notion that he had a lock on his third championship. He knows there are not just one, but several drivers with ants in their pants for NASCAR’s fan-shaped trophy.

You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling The latter day “righteous brothers Jimmie Johnson and crew chief Chad Knaus exchanged unloving words during the New Hampshire race. Johnson would have none of Knaus ‘encouragements on the radio. Although Johnson didn’t tell Knaus to shut his yap, he did say, “watch me.” Johnson’s 18th place finish dropped him to 10 the Chase for the Sprint Cup.

Got the right stuff sparky? Here’s your chance to see if you’ve got the stuff to drive a Formula 1 type car. Lotus is building 25 model T125 cars for sale to customers. They bring the car to the track of your choice. You have your own race team, including an engineer and team mechanics, your own catered motor coach and all the trimmings. Tom Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson gave one a go on last week’s show. He is used to flinging supercars around the Top Gear track in tire smoking broad slides. Not so with the Lotus. He was not able to go fast enough in the early runs to get the tires or brakes up to racing temps. He simply could not tell himself to brake at the 1 shutdown marker and live to tell about it. It was good to see him humbled in such a public way. He came away with a wounded ego and a very sore neck. Oh, and the price for this? A cool million.

They’ve got him surrounded To say IndyCar’s Brian Barnhart is embattled would be an understatement. The latest shots come from Helio Castroneves after Twin Motegi. Castroneves was moved from his seventh place finish on the track to 22nd for passing under a yellow. The incensed Brazilian is quoted in a Twitter post saying he was "very disappointed for finishing seventh and being put to 22nd," adding. "This is just absurd." Later Castroneves went on to call Barnhart a “circus clown.” The Penske driver noted his penalty moved Franchitti up a spot in the finishing order, lessening the deficit to Will Power. Will the Las Vegas showmen do a racing recreation of Little Big Horn?

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